It often pains mothers and fathers to hear their baby cry. We want to give the best of ourselves to our child from birth. We hug them and cherish them. We try to meet all their needs as quickly as possible, so their entry into the world goes smoothly. After childbirth, a baby’s sleep is influenced by breastfeeding, light, background sounds, body temperature, his temper and the outside world’s stimuli. When the baby cries, they’re expressing themselves. Over the minutes, days and months to come, parents will learn what their crying means and meet their needs. They try as hard as possible to be there at the right time and do what is best for their physical and psychological development.
At about 25 weeks of pregnancy, the baby starts its sleep stages in utero. This is what we call the “biological clock.”
I know that this is a difficult part of parenting for couples trying care for their baby. However, they might question their baby’s sleep needs and habits, and wonder how they can deal with them in the right way. Both parents and children need sleep and rest. This is essential for life, just like eating or exercising. Sleep deprivation can have an impact across the board, on family, work, the couple, and social life. Extended deprivation can even cause health problems for both parents and their child since sleep and health are linked.
Children with known health problems will have restless, irregular, less healing sleep. A baby’s health condition needs to be evaluated before trying to solve their sleep problems.
I want to congratulate parents of children that don’t have sleep problems. You have found a satisfactory way of handling it. Continue along this path you think is best for you and your baby.
Now, for those parents who haven’t been able to handle their child’s sleep problems, I would like to try and help. After reading your questions and comments, I know that you can sometimes feel powerless in the face of a crying baby that can’t fall asleep alone. No magic solutions are available for each child and each sleep problem, but I think I can help you clearly understand your reality and better react to it.
What exactly does good sleep mean? What factors maximize the developmental benefits of sleep for an infant? And what are the consequences of not getting enough sleep? These are good questions worth thinking about.
Every child and parent is unique, and many ways to help your baby’s sleep are available.
Therefore, we cannot say that a child “sleeps through the night” all the time at a specific age like a baby does not always walk on its first birthday. In addition, an infant’s sleep needs differ from those of adults.
To orient the discussion today, I will deal with infant sleep, meaning from childbirth to 1 year of age.
Do you think your baby has difficulty going to sleep by themselves?
Parents, if you answer yes to this question, continue reading. If your baby has sleep problems, you’re the best people to help them. If you think to have to change things, the earlier is always better. I’m not saying it will be easy, but it’s possible! The goal is to have them fall asleep alone, not leaving them to cry all night.
Our scientific knowledge about sleep at any age is continually evolving. We don’t have strict rules about a person’s sleep needs, but we know that needs vary depending on age and its development. The younger you are, the more sleep you need. Over time sleep needs diminish.
Sleep Cycles
A sleep cycle can last from 45 minutes to two hours based on age. For an infant, it’s about 50 minutes and can be repeated up to 10 times a night. Only around three years of age can we expect them to have sleep cycles like adults.
Unfortunately, sleep regulation maturity takes time, is a gradual process that can’t be fast-forwarded. We have our own pace of development, such as walking for example.
Sleep cycles are made up of four phases:
- Light sleep;
- Deep sleep;
- Paradoxical sleep;
- Latency phase.
- Light sleep:
In this phase, the baby moves a lot, is uncomfortable, groggy. - Deep sleep:
Metabolically, this sleep phase is characterised by an increased release of hormones needed for the baby’s growth. It also strengthens its immune system which helps combat microorganisms. Heartbeat and respiration slow. This is the calmest sleep. Even if this is the deepest sleep, the baby can maintain its muscle tone, closing its fist, for example. - Paradoxical sleep:
Compared to a three-year-old baby, who will spend 25% of their sleep in this phase, a baby will spend 50% to 80%. Has anyone used the saying “sleeping like a baby?” Sure, right! In the paradoxical sleep phase, the baby’s eyes move, they may cry out, they may make sucking movements, or their muscles might jerk. This is associated with high brain activity. Their neurological development depends on this stage and it helps them store everything they learned when awake. Their brain is working hard even if you find their sleep troubled. - Latency phase:
The latency sleep phase brings us back to the surface, close to awakening. It’s like a state of drowsiness, a very shallow sleep. Many babies can ask for something in this phase, or slowly fall back into the light then deep phases. This is the phase between the two cycles.
How can we help our baby’s sleep?
How can you help our baby’s sleep? A lot can be done, and you can help your baby sleep alone while meeting their needs for love, attention, making them feel safe as part of their physical and affective development.
What emerges from a large number of studies on the subject brings down that :
- The time to fall asleep decreases during the first 6 months of life and the time of sleep during the night consolidates
- Nocturnal awakenings are less frequent in the first two years of life.
Hence the importance for parents to put in place favorable conditions in everyday life to positively influence their child’s sleep development. You need to act based on your personal convictions as long as each parent respects the other’s differences and decisions.
How can we help our baby’s sleep? Here are a few basic suggestions according to age.
For a 1-month-old baby:
A newborn baby’s sleep phases are difficult to define. The baby will move from active sleep (eyes moving, sucking motion, grimacing, breathing pauses) to a calmer sleep where the baby is more sluggish. This will be repeatedly during their sleep cycle.
The length of these difference sleep phases is variable, irregular and changes over time as the baby develops neurologically. However, a one-month-old baby, even if still immature, can sleep six hours in a row and nap three to four times a day, for up to 15 hours of sleep. Before one or two months of age, it’s difficult to establish a sleep routine for a baby.
A tiny baby’s sleep goes in hand with frequent physical discomfort they can feel, such as bloating, reflux and cramps. You have to relieve this discomfort to help them sleep better.
For a Two-Month-Old Baby
Starting from two months, a baby can go to sleep by themselves in their bed. This must be with the right conditions for sleep. A baby learns to fall asleep on his own with the support of his parents, one step at a time.
If the baby wakes up during the latency phase of their sleep cycle, this is normal. They will likely fall back to sleep by themselves. The problem is when the parent doesn’t give them the time to do it. The baby won’t learn, and will wait for dad or mom to arrive. You have to avoid running quickly if they complain or cry a bit, because the baby becomes dependent on your presence. You have to reduce as much as possible your actions during the sleep routine to reduce stimuli. Your actions, if they’re necessary, have to be brief and silent, since even if sleep is punctuated by biology, it is also greatly influenced by the environment, such as parenting practice. It is stated, parents play a crucial role in their child’s sleep independence.
The earlier you establish a baby’s sleep routine (suggested from 2 months of age), the easier their sleep will be later. To help them fall asleep (the start of their sleep cycles), you should follow the ritual daily. It should start at least 30 minutes before they should be asleep. The same actions have to be repeated night after night because the ritual will set the baby’s biological clock, reduce tension and stress and promote sleep. Like so, the parent gradually helps their child to fall asleep on their own.
How to Establish a Sleep Routine?
How can you establish a sleep routine? Here are a few suggested things you can do:
-
- Calm activities early evening;
- Feeding;
- Baths;
- Massages;
- Sleep.
Note that if the baby never falls asleep at the breast or bottle, then feeding can be done after bathing and massage without any problem, depending on your choice.
A baby can learn to fall asleep alone without calling on their parents. Parents aren’t being mean to expect this learning with their baby, it’s NORMAL! You can rock them, sing them a soft lullaby. Preferably, you should lay them down in their bed, before they fall asleep in your arms. For example, when they’re drowsy. They see themselves in their bed before sleeping, not in your arms, with your calming hand on their chest. You can gently rock them before the sleep fairy takes them away and you leave the room.
If your baby cries afterwards, of course you can come back to check on him, reposition him in his crib and put your comforting hand on him. And if needed to be, take him again to calm him gently, then do the same thing as at bedtime after the evening routine, i.e., put him down when he is semi-sleepy in his crib. You can offer the baby a pacifier if he needs it and/or a reassuring object that will be with him every time he sleeps, such as a small blanket or safe plush so that he can suck on it for self-satisfaction and to satisfy his need to suck.
For a baby between 4 and 12 months:
Starting from four months of age, the schedule should be more predictable, regular, both for naps and their sleep routine. You have to understand your baby’s biological clock, their sleep needs and signs of fatigue, such as:
- Yawning;
- The baby is calmer, listless, fixed;
- Eye rubbing;
- Starts complaining, grumpy, cries a bit.
Avoid waiting too long until the baby’s overtired. This is when their reactions will be more intense. They will be agitated, cry, scream louder. You might get the impression that they’re fighting their sleep. A baby that’s put to bed too late or when they’re too tired will have difficulty falling asleep alone. They will cry more and for a longer period. To develop the best routine for your baby, you have to test different times during the day and check the results. It’s often suggested starting the sleep routine around 6:30/7:00 p.m., 8:00 p.m. maximum, because you also have to count the time it will take for them to fall asleep in their bed.
According to authors I consulted, from 4 to 12 months a baby can develop associations that can lead to bad habits.
Also, a healthy term baby aged between four and six months receives sufficient caloric intake during the day for their growth. They don’t need any more, and as such don’t need to drink at night. I know, I can hear some of you saying, “What? My baby can’t sleep a full night?! Why aren’t they then?”.
How can you know if your baby’s ready and able to sleep five or six hours in a row? It’s simple! If they have already done it by chance, they can do it again. At six months, 85% of babies can sleep at least five hours in a row at night. For a one month old baby, neurological maturity may allow him to sleep up to 6 hours in a row, at 3 months 9 hours in a row, and at 6 months of age, the consecutive sleep time may be up to 12 hours.
Does your baby have difficulty falling asleep alone? If yes, continue reading with Sleep Problems in Babies from 0 to 1 Year. If the baby’s sleep still seems restless, we can see if there is no ferritin (iron) deficiency which could explain, at least in part, the clinical manifestations observed and also, if there is a family tendency to the nighttime bustle.
To improve your knowledge on the subject, I also invite you to watch the video on the Sleep of babies.
Marie Fortier
The Baby Expert
Updated article : October, 2024.
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