I am a father of two children and husband to a wonderful woman. I love fatherhood, and I defend my differences as a father. I am a defender of what I call educational honesty, which can be defined as a process to establish a frank relationship with my children (and children of others) starting from a very young age by meeting their range of needs (providing them security), while not hiding weaknesses (mom and dad are human too) and by clearly stating our needs as free beings. I want to provide the maximum to my children, but I don’t want to forget myself during this incredible voyage as a parent.
After several years working with children, I currently work as a promoter of fatherhood in a Family Community Organisation in the Lower Saint-Lawrence region, in the very dynamic Maison de la Famille du Kamouraska.
Pregnancy of our First Child
The pregnancy of our first child generally went well, both for my spouse and me. My wife calmly and assuredly helped me relativize my worries. But I have always been someone who loves the unknown. We both worked in a First Nations community and spent the six first months in a forest shelter that we built together. We didn’t have electricity or running water, were far from civilization and had to paddle across a deserted lake every morning to get to our car to go to work. Such a simple, beautiful life…Washing in the lake, fishing, eat over an open fire, having the time to experience our long-awaited pregnancy together. When fall arrived, we decided to move to Val d’Or so that my spouse could safely finish her pregnancy. So we rented a lovely house in the country until the baby’s arrival.
Midnight sharp on January 27, Cindy broke her water. I jumped up on the bed, overexcited, ran around the house to grab our bags for the hospital. My wife calmed me down, and together we decided to wait until early morning to go to Amos.
While the nine last months were calm and peaceful, it was the total opposite once we entered the hospital. My wife wasn’t dilating fast enough, and the nurses were worried. My partner was getting exhausted. Long and difficult labour for her, she who hoped to give birth naturally. Taïm was delivered with a caesarean section, which is a traumatic experience. As my wife went through the procedure, I was freaking out when I should have been comforting her. I will always remember her saying “it’s all right honey, everything is fine…”. I still blame myself for not having been up to the task. Was I ready? Clearly not.
The Arrival Home
It was -25 when we left the hospital, and the icy roads back home worried me a bit, but my wife’s calmness reassured me.
I clearly remember our arrival back home. Stressed, I brought in the baby, took him out of his carrier, and when my partner was comfortably seated, I turned on some music and danced in the living room with the baby. I was on such a high! The best moment of my life!
8 Years as a Trio
Such beautiful years! Our first baby was naturally calm, and we could place him on the mattress and he would stay there and watch us. I found parenthood to be a positive experience, and I was able to put aside my preconceived ideas about educating a child. I decided to trust my wife, I like the way she looked at life. We took the time to live according to our child’s pace in an environment full of caring and sharing. I had to work on myself several times to remain calm, caring and attentive to my baby. I am so happy I succeeded.
Continue reading my story with A Second Child (in french only).