The progressive waiting approach is an alternative developed in 1956 by Dr. Richard Ferber, a Boston pediatrician. It also helps the baby fall asleep alone without their parents. Used starting from around 4 to 6 months and even later, up to 18 months, this technique teaches the baby to fall asleep alone. Once again, the sleep routine should be followed to the letter, then you place the baby in their bed and close the door, diminishing light, stimuli, external sounds. A background sound can be maintained, like the chair technique.

The progressive waiting technique (5-10-15 method):

• The first night:

  The parent doesn’t wait in the room near the baby, they leave. The baby will probably cry, and from this point, the progressive waiting process starts: wait 5 minutes, if you can, before returning to the baby, then after 10 then 15 minutes. You shouldn’t pick up the baby or talk to them. Limit what you do to the minimum and as quietly as possible. Softly reposition the baby in their bed, cover them up if necessary, softly caress then leave the baby’s room. If 5 minutes of crying seems too long, you can go slower with progressive waiting from 1 to 3 minutes at the start, depending on your tolerance. Then move to 5 or 8 minutes, then 15 minutes. You have to consider your limits as a parent. At this time, adapt the technique’s wait time but always remain consistent and coherent. Return every 15 minutes as long as the baby cries and hasn’t fallen asleep. It’s a good idea for the father and the mother to alternate, especially if the mother still breastfeeds during the day. This technique has shown that the length of time the baby cries will be less with the presence of the father rather than the mother. The first night will be rather hard as the baby doesn’t understand what we’re trying to do. Your sporadic presence will reassure them, but at the same time, they will learn that they need to go to sleep alone. You will likely hear their best, loudest cries and don’t forget, it’s their way of expressing themselves. It’s normal—they’re not happy!

• The second night:

  Continue your evening routine to initiate your baby to sleep at night. Then, when you place them in their bed, leave the room like the previous night, but wait 10 minutes before going back if they cry. If you prefer waiting for a shorter period, choose 5 or 7 minutes. Then, calculate 5 more minutes each time before returning, up to 20 consecutive minutes. Then repeat every 20 minutes as the situation requires.

• The third night:

  The third night should already be easier. Restart your evening routine, place the baby in their bed awake and leave the room and wait for 15–20 minutes. Often, your visit will no longer be necessary as the baby is already asleep. By repeating the technique, persisting day after day, the baby will understand that they now need to go to sleep alone. Over time the speed will increase, both when they’re put to bed at night and when they wake up. When their sleep is good, you can start the nap routine, which will be different from the night routine but with the same regularity and recurrence.

You can also watch the video about Baby Sleep.

Marie Fortier
The Baby Expert