My name is Amélia, and I am a new mother with a six-week-old baby. I was wondering if it’s normal that my husband is more aggressive with me since the birth of our son? I know he wanted our baby, so I don’t know what to think. Before the baby, I would just distance myself from him when he was aggressive, but with the baby, I am now scared sometimes, especially when he cries or bothers my husband. I try to avoid situations that can make him angry, but have you heard about this happening before? 

Thanks in advance for your help,

Amélia

Dear Amélia,

I am touched by your message! Life as a couple and dynamics that develop are often subject to challenges over time. But they should never be governed by the notion of control over another, fear and inequality.

The arrival of a baby brings on higher levels of stress and anxiety due to the unknown, unexpected changes that occur daily. This transition requires that a couple adjust, change habits, redistribute tasks, communicate differently and also change their intimacy. All these changes can increase tension (especially if it was already present) and even lead to violence. 

When I talk about conjugal violence, it is not necessarily physical. It is not easy to recognise and can take on many forms.

Amélia, please read the article I wrote about conjugal violence during the perinatal period, and I really encourage you to talk about what you are feeling with a friend, colleague, family member or health professional. There is help available for you and your family. You need to be safe with your baby and feel comfortable in your own home.

Amélia, je te propose de lire le billet éducatif que j’ai écrit spécifiquement sur le thème de la violence conjugale à la période périnatale

My thoughts go out to you,

Marie

The Baby Expert